Tolucan
Times October 9, 2003 Serving the communities of: Toluca Lake - Magnolia Park - Burbank - Media District - Universal City - Encino - Valley Village - North Hollywood - Hollywood Hills - Larchmont District - Studio City - Sherman Oaks - Glendale |
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ASK THE DIVORCE COACH©, SUSAN ALLAN For one hour free relationship coaching, [email protected] FOR RICHER FOR POORER Did your marriage vows include “for richer; for poorer”? If your reverend said them; did you understand what they meant? Did you hear the word “obey” and ignore that, too? If your spouse was paying attention; heard you agree and now you've changed your mind; what is your strategy to negotiate your divorce? Sometimes the cause of divorce is a simple financial disagreement. During the courting phase, did you ask questions about your financial future? During the honeymoon phase did you discover problems in your monetary picture? What strategy did you implement to enhance communication and peace? Often, when peaceful strategies are not discovered before or during marriage, clients must discover them during or after the divorce. When children are involved, financial issues may arise for-EVER. Most couples do not understand that most LA divorces are based on negotiation according to Mark Patt, Esq., managing partner of Trope and Trope, Los Angeles' largest family law firm. This negotiation may result from the two attorneys; from the couple or from the judge demanding it. Often, I meet clients who did not understand their options, made unworkable agreements and are seeking to reverse stipulations. Sometimes, I meet clients before they say those none-too-magic words, “I want a divorce!” My first advice is; consult a dissolution financial expert before you utter them! Lee Slater, Divorce Financial Planner from New York City offers the following suggestions: “ The financial decisions that clients make in divorce are often the most important financial decisions they will make in their lifetime. During negotiations, financial planners help clients evaluate settlement proposals and suggest alternatives helping clients to make informed decisions. By understanding the financial issues at stake in maintaining their lifestyles, individuals become empowered to make important decisions to complete their divorce. Divorce Financial Planners help clients “understand, evaluate and negotiate
Dear Divorce Coach, In 2000 my mother and I bought a house which hubby and I live in. Now we are separated (I stayed in the house). He wants to reconcile, I'm not sure what I want. If and when we decide to get a divorce, what, if any, portion of the house is he entitled to. Signed, Just Wandering Sincerely yours, Ask The Divorce Coach, Susan Allan “ Prior to marriage the parties should understand the other's CLIENT: “ I would be most grateful to receive any list of names that you can provide. Our family has only recently moved to southern California , and thus do not know of any lawyers in the area. Thank you so much for the helpful offer! I am most appreciative.” DJ LA, CA Dear Divorce Coach, I have been divorced for one year. My ex-husband has now married his mistress. (supposedly my friend and a family friend.) Emotionally, I have moved on and my two teenage children have been very resilient. They were recently told by their father that he has been married for approx four months. What steps should I take during a civilized discussion to ensure that my children will be secure in the future should my ex-husband pass away. Obviously he will also want to provide for his new family too. How can I discuss all the issues involved in a sane way? Sincerely, Will-ing Dear Will-ing, Before
you approach your ex- we have two important recommendations. The first
is that it would be very helpful for you to learn the basics of Nonviolent
Communication ™ so
that you can connect compassionately with your ex-husband. In this
way, you will be able to discuss both his needs and your needs for
your children's financial futures. However, the second important aspect
that I advise before your conversation is that you acquire knowledge
of the options from a financial planner. Once you understand the best
options for your children, you will be able to suggest them. With the
best information and the skills to communicate them, your family will
be protected. Ask The Divorce Coach, Susan Allan Before or during divorce, financial planners are essential but before marriage, explaining the future, they can be worth their weight…in GOLD! For 101 Divorce Survival Secrets, and free E-zine, visit www.thedivorceforum.com , with Collaborative Divorce information. For one hour of free, private telephone coaching, contact [email protected]
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Ask The Divorce Coach Susan Allan COO of The Divorce Forum |